FINDING
a therapist
When starting therapy, you’ll have questions:
It’s so common to quit the search before you even begin because it’s an overwhelming process. I get it. But if you’re reading this, then you are already negotiating between the part of you that’s fine with the status quo and the part of you that wants to make things better. So stick it out and I’ll try to make it easy on you by explaining what I do below - then you can get back to deciding who would be the best fit for you.
“How do I find a therapist in the city?”
“How do I know if they’re good?”
“What kind of therapy am I even looking for?”
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY EXPLAINED
To put it simply, Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) are trained psychotherapists who navigate relationships: couple relationships, parent/child relationships, friendships, and the relationship you have with yourself. Furthermore, we take a look at how you are in relation to such things as grief, imperfection, control, anger, or shame. This allows us to better understand how all of our behavior, thoughts, and emotions are really a response to the relationship we have with these experiences.
Research shows that this is the most important element for therapeutic change: an alliance with your therapist that is likable, trusting, and safe. More simply, you need to feel understood. While this type of relationship takes time to build, initially you should look for a therapist who is warm and easy to connect to.
Additionally, in order for therapy to work, you have to believe that it can. Your commitment is the second most important factor for change. Therapy is an investment in yourself and even though it is common to waiver due to apprehension of the process, it is extremely rewarding when you start to see and feel results. It turns out that the fear of our feelings is often scarier than the feelings themselves.
Client/Therapist
BELIEF IN CHANGE
01
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Do you know what your relationship is to perfectionism or avoidance? Have you ever processed how you internalize grief or rejection? Do you know what is really keeping you stuck? Individual work allows you to better understand what motivates your current thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Ultimately, this is the therapeutic work that empowers you by providing self-actualized choices rather than unconscious decisions.
02
RELATIONAL THERAPY
Therapy is a place of exploration and at times, for repair. Parent/child relationships, sibling relationships, and friendships all vacillate between connection and disconnection. Relational therapy is all about how to manage the pain without hurting others right back with unhealthy responses such as passive aggressiveness, condescension, blame, coldness, or numbness. The goal is for each party to be heard and understood with respect for their experience.
03
Couples THERAPY
We know how to fall in love, but do we know how to stay in love? Too often we are not taught how to properly fight, how to vulnerably express fears, or to relay appreciation in emotionally loving language. Couples get caught in the content war - this happened, no this happened. Couples therapy addresses the process instead: how our emotional injuries influence the story we tell ourselves about our partner. Together in therapy, we unpack the emotions and learn to edit the narration of this story collaboratively in order to instill more respect, more vulnerability, and more connection.
04
Grief THERAPY
Everything changes after you’ve lost something - especially if you’ve lost someone. Comfort for a grieving person comes in the form of hearing, “You’re in pain because it mattered.” Grief therapy is a space to honor what mattered while slowly rebuilding your life and creating a new normal. It’s the process of integrating all parts of yourself - the part in agony with the part that still finds things funny, or the part that never wants to let go with the part that is so desperate to move on. Mostly, the work integrates the part that will never accept the loss with the part that can make meaning from the experience despite the wound it inflicts.
02
RELATIONAL THERAPY
This is what it’s all about. We know how to fall in love, but do we know how to stay in love? Even with our siblings, parents, and friends, we are not taught how to properly fight. And it’s life – to argue, to disagree, or to get hurt by others.
Relational therapy is all about how to manage the pain without hurting others right back with unhealthy responses like passive aggressiveness, condescension, coldness or numbness. In relational therapy we also address relationship injuries that have already occurred such as infidelity, betrayals, addiction, or abuse.
03
PRE-marital THERAPY
Do not wait. Do not wait until you’re married, don’t wait until you’re fighting constantly, don’t wait until you’re engaged. Just go to therapy with your partner – even a few times.
It’s an incredible way to understand each other more deeply and learn how to avoid hurting each other unintentionally. Premarital therapy can be at the height of your relationship, during a transitional phase of your relationship, or at a time when you need a tune up.
04
GRIEF THERAPY
Everything changes after you’ve lost something – especially if you’ve lost someone. Unfortunately, our society doesn’t exactly have the customs to support those who are grieving.
We’re so individualistic, we’re supposed to hurt alone, in a closed room, where no one can hear us. But the only comfort for a grieving person is for another person to connect with them and say, “You’re in pain because it mattered.” Grief therapy is a space to honor what mattered while slowly rebuilding your life and creating a new normal.
THE APPROACH
You wouldn't be where you are if there wasn't something to see.
“
”
FINDING
a therapist
When starting therapy, you’ll have questions:
“How do I find a therapist in the city?”
“How do I know if they’re good?”
“What kind of therapy am I even looking for?”
It’s so common to quit the search before you even begin because it’s an overwhelming process. I get it. But if you’re reading this, then you are already negotiating between the part of you that’s fine with the status quo and the part of you that wants to make things better. So stick it out and I’ll try to make it easy on you by explaining what I do below - then you can get back to deciding who would be the best fit for you.
marriage and family therapy explained
To put it simply, Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) are trained psychotherapists who navigate relationships: couple relationships, parent/child relationships, friendships, and the relationship you have with yourself. Furthermore, we take a look at how you are in relation to such things as grief, imperfection, control, anger, or shame. This allows us to better understand how all of our behavior, thoughts, and emotions are really a response to the relationship we have with these experiences.
Research shows that this is the most important element for therapeutic change: an alliance with your therapist that is likable, trusting, and safe. More simply, you need to feel understood. While this type of relationship takes time to build, initially you should look for a therapist who is warm and easy to connect to.
Client/Therapist
Additionally, in order for therapy to work, you have to believe that it can. Your commitment is the second most important factor for change. Therapy is an investment in yourself and even though it is common to waiver due to apprehension of the process, it is extremely rewarding when you start to see and feel results. It turns out that the fear of our feelings is often scarier than the feelings themselves.
BELIEF IN CHANGE
The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Do you know what your relationship is to perfectionism or avoidance? Have you ever processed how you internalize grief or rejection? Do you know what is really keeping you stuck? Individual work allows you to better understand what motivates your current thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Ultimately, this is the therapeutic work that empowers you by providing self-actualized choices rather than unconscious decisions.
individual therapy
01
Therapy is a place of exploration and at times, for repair. Parent/child relationships, sibling relationships, and friendships all vacillate between connection and disconnection. Relational therapy is all about how to manage the pain without hurting others right back with unhealthy responses such as passive aggressiveness, condescension, blame, coldness, or numbness. The goal is for each party to be heard and understood with respect for their experience.
Relational therapy
02
We know how to fall in love, but do we know how to stay in love? Too often we are not taught how to properly fight, how to vulnerably express fears, or to relay appreciation in emotionally loving language. Couples get caught in the content war - this happened, no this happened. Couples therapy addresses the process instead: how our emotional injuries influence the story we tell ourselves about our partner. Together in therapy, we unpack the emotions and learn to edit the narration of this story collaboratively in order to instill more respect, more vulnerability, and more connection.
Couples therapy
03
Everything changes after you’ve lost something - especially if you’ve lost someone. Comfort for a grieving person comes in the form of hearing, “You’re in pain because it mattered.” Grief therapy is a space to honor what mattered while slowly rebuilding your life and creating a new normal. It’s the process of integrating all parts of yourself - the part in agony with the part that still finds things funny, or the part that never wants to let go with the part that is so desperate to move on. Mostly, the work integrates the part that will never accept the loss with the part that can make meaning from the experience despite the wound it inflicts.
Grief therapy
04
This is what it’s all about. We know how to fall in love, but do we know how to stay in love? Even with our siblings, parents, and friends, we are not taught how to properly fight. And it’s life – to argue, to disagree, or to get hurt by others.
Relational therapy is all about how to manage the pain without hurting others right back with unhealthy responses like passive aggressiveness, condescension, coldness or numbness. In relational therapy we also address relationship injuries that have already occurred such as infidelity, betrayals, addiction, or abuse.
relational therapy
02
Do not wait. Do not wait until you’re married, don’t wait until you’re fighting constantly, don’t wait until you’re engaged. Just go to therapy with your partner – even a few times.
It’s an incredible way to understand each other more deeply and learn how to avoid hurting each other unintentionally. Premarital therapy can be at the height of your relationship, during a transitional phase of your relationship, or at a time when you need a tune up.
pre-marital therapy
03
Everything changes after you’ve lost something – especially if you’ve lost someone. Unfortunately, our society doesn’t exactly have the customs to support those who are grieving.
We’re so individualistic, we’re supposed to hurt alone, in a closed room, where no one can hear us. But the only comfort for a grieving person is for another person to connect with them and say, “You’re in pain because it mattered.” Grief therapy is a space to honor what mattered while slowly rebuilding your life and creating a new normal.
grief therapy
04
the approach
You wouldn't be where you are if there wasn't something to see.
“
“
